Dude...get a job!

National Post – Jan 20, 2005
NAIROBI - The world's oldest grade-school student, an octogenarian great-grandfather, is facing expulsion from an elementary school in Kenya after parents complained he was a disruptive influence in the classroom. Penniless and illiterate, Kimani Maruge, who is aged about 84, turned up last year at the Kapkenduiywo Primary School near Eldoret, Western Kenya, and demanded to be enrolled in first grade.

Mr. Maruge said he had not been able to attend school as a boy because he had to look after the cattle, and could do so only after the government abolished elementary school fees in 2003.
Cutting off the bottoms of his only pants and splurging on a pair of grey, knee-length socks to meet the dress code, Mr. Maruge lined up with more than 100 six-year-olds to be registered.

When he began his second year this month, some parents protested. Mr. Maruge was a "smart Alec," prone to histrionics, one said. "Our children don't concentrate," the parent said. "They are too busy wondering what he is going to do next. He tries to dominate the class."

"If I am expelled, I will surely die," Mr. Maruge said. He is also planning to sue the British government for alleged abuse during the 1950s Mau Mau rebellion. "I am learning how to add and subtract so I can count my money," he said.

I guess you're never too old to learn. Or to be the class clown.