Think this is hot? Wait till next year

Here's a great article from the Montreal Gazette:

Wed 20 Jul 2005
By Mike Boone

David Suzuki was right. But you didn't listen, did you? All those years during which Suzuki was warning about pollution and climate change, you were watching dumb sitcoms.

Now the humidex is higher than your bank balance, your butt sticks to the toilet seat, the nature of your thing doesn't bear thinking about and old episodes of Charles in Charge won't help. To paraphrase Hardy's admonition to Laurel, it's a fine mess we've gotten ourselves into this time.

All of Suzuki's dire predictions are coming true. And scientists who know what they're talking about - i.e., the ones George W. Bush doesn't listen to - say it will get worse.

The opening scene of this week's Six Feet Under episode showed a guy dropping dead during a bad performance of Chekhov. Then the screen flashed his date of birth: 1948.

Same age as me - only I'm going to keel over watching a saxophone player on Ste. Catherine St. unless the weather improves.

People around town this week say this is the hottest summer they can remember. Wait'll next year - and the year after that, spinning as far into the future as burning hydrocarbons and computer-projected climate change can carry us.

It's like living through a slo-mo disaster movie. Every summer gets a little hotter - OK, this year a lot hotter. And what are we supposed to do? Tell China and India to stop industrializing? Send Bruce Willis up with a giant needle and thread to repair holes in the ozone layer?

Here at The Gazette's Childish Acts of Rebellion desk, we dream of walking around town, clicking our red shoes together and making egregious gas-guzzlers like the Lincoln Navigator, Cadillac Escalade or the plus ultra of wretched excess, the execrable Hummer, turn into those cute little two-seater town cars.

It's not going to happen. But you can't blame an Ozone Avenger for fantasizing about making some rich dipspit wonder what happened to his disgusting toy.